Middle-Earth Breaking News: Gandalf Opens Wizardry School, Promises “Magic for All”

In an unprecedented move that has shaken the very foundations of Middle-Earth, Gandalf the White has announced the opening of the first-ever wizardry school located in the heart of the Shire. Dubbed “Gandalf’s Academy of Wizardry and Hobbit Hospitality”, the school promises to offer courses ranging from beginner-level spell casting to advanced dragon negotiation techniques.

In a recent press conference held at Bag End, Gandalf, sporting a freshly pressed pointy hat, declared, “It’s time everyone gets a chance to wield a staff. Why should wizards have all the fun?” The conference was briefly interrupted by an unexpected fireworks display, which Gandalf insisted was part of the curriculum under ‘Practical Pyrotechnics’.

The school has already seen a large number of applicants, including a suspiciously large contingent of dwarves who insist they’re just there for the rune classes. Local hobbits have expressed mixed feelings, with one resident, Frodo Baggins, stating, “As long as it keeps the Sackville-Bagginses busy, I suppose it’s a good thing.”

However, the academy is not without its critics. Saruman the Many-Colored, reached at his newly redecorated tower, criticized the move as “unorthodox” and “smacking of undue merriment.” Meanwhile, a group of elves has started a rival institution, offering courses in “Silvan Shadow Dancing” and “Elvish Etiquette.”

The school is set to open next Yule, with Gandalf promising prospective students a magical experience complete with a complimentary wizard hat and a lifetime supply of lembas bread. “After all,” Gandalf added, winking, “a wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to—just like our class schedules!”